Your sense of humor is getting away from you - and our lawyers won’t let us answer your question. In Japanese restaurant kitchens, where the fish is used in both sashimi and nabemono, only qualified cooks are allowed to clean and portion the fish. The reason? The various types of pufferfish known as fugu are so poisonous as to be lethal. The poison is contained in the skin, stomach, liver, and ovary. In cleaning the fish, it is not only necessary to remove the lethal parts, but to keep them from contaminating the rest of the flesh. Even with reasonable precautions, however, there are still incidents of fugu poisoning.

There are entire books on the subject of cleaning fugu. Sadly, we must direct you to one of those. Happily (for your friends, at least) the only ones we’ve found are written in Japanese.