How can I make fat-free half & half?

 It takes several food technology degrees and a laboratory to make "fat-free half & half." In the world Ochef lives in, there is no such thing as "fat-free half & half." Half & half is a very light cream or a very rich milk (depending on how much the word "cream" frightens or offends you), with a fat content of 10 to 12 percent.

"Fat-free half & half" is essentially thickened fat-free milk. It is a manufactured product made of nonfat milk, milk, corn syrup solids, artificial color, sugar, dipotassium phosphate, sodium citrate, mono and diglycerides, carageenan, natural and artificial flavors, and vitamin A palmitate. The carageenan is a seaweed-based thickener, emulsifier, and stabilizer. The glycerides are emulsifiers. The phosphate is a preservative, and the sodium citrate is used to control acidity. The vitamin A palmitate is added to lowfat milk to replace naturally occurring vitamins.

Even with all these yummy ingredients, "fat-free half & half" is not absolutely fat free, as the milk and glycerides add "trivial amounts" of fat.

Even if we could get our hands on all these ingredients and additives, we do not have a formula for correctly mixing them. We think the production of artificial foods is best left to manufacturing professionals or not done at all.

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