Sweetie, the Internet and UPS/FedEx/USPS were made for people like you, located in the boondocks of South Dakota, Maine, Montana, etc. Even if you drive 100 miles to your city, you may not find the color options that are available to you online.

You can make a decent orange by mixing yellow and red food coloring, and a decent purple by mixing blue and red, but you are never going to produce a good black (and even with online options, black is a compromise).

If you’re nervous about unauthorized credit card charges or having your identity stolen once you enter the world of online consuming, get an additional credit card and dedicate it to online purchases. That way it will be very easy to monitor. And we can’t believe how alert credit card companies are at catching possible misuse. We have gotten a number of calls from them, to verify online charges that don’t match our “spending patterns.” It has occasionally bordered on the obsessive, but we have never had to pay for any charge that we didn’t authorize.

We believe in supporting local merchants and sourcing food locally as much as possible, but there are some things (especially in the food world) that can only be practically found online. And even in a heavily populated area, the cost of transportation and the time committed to a shopping trip can easily outweigh a $4 or $5 or $6 shipping fee. We’re pretty sure you are very aware of how much a 200-mile round-trip costs you.

You are clearly comfortable using the Internet – it’s time to bite the bullet and take the next step in becoming an online consumer. We promise not to tell anyone at Pinky’s.