We absolutely draw the line at turkeys that have moved even once. Don’t cook it. Don’t eat it. Don’t give it to your distant relatives or in-laws.

Get rid of it, and free up all kinds of space in your freezer (and please tell us your converted freezer keeps a steady temperature between 0°F and 5°F (-18°C and -15°C)). Otherwise it’s not really pulling its weight as a freezer. You can buy a freezer thermometer for verification.

far as we are concerned, you are the record-holder until we hear from someone else with a bigger (but true) turkey horror story.