Dear Abby would send you to a marriage counselor, but we think you need to see a member of the clergy, because your question borders on heresy. The holy trinity of cooking – at least in New Orleans and the rest of Louisiana – is equal parts onion, celery, and bell pepper.

Now, some people will tell you that any member of the onion family – including leeks, shallots, scallions, and even distant cousin garlic – can fill the onion’s role in the mixture. They will tell you that celeriac, the root of a special variety of celery, can fulfill the celery’s role. And they will tell you that the pepper can be either red or green, depending on the dish being prepared.

So it’s quite possible that you and your husband are ranting over allowable variations in the mixture, and you’re both right! How often does that happen?

With regard to that trilogy thing, we think it involves a hobbit or something, but we can’t find anything about it in our cookbook library.